


im not your problem anymore (so who am i offending now?)

by brii29



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Slow Burn, Youre in for a ride, first work in seven years, first work in this fandom, hopefully, just warning you, no beta we die like men, seriously they might not even kiss, theres a lot of characters i dont wanna name them all, this is gonna take forever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brii29/pseuds/brii29
Summary: The done to death 6.08 fix it, hopefully with some twists and turns. Everything up until 6.08 is canon, then come the changes. Literati. Javajunkie. Logan's not really in this but this isn't a Logan bashing fic, not really.Or, where Rory handles things like an adult and accepts the support of those who actually know and love her.
Relationships: Luke Danes/Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano
Comments: 13
Kudos: 31





	1. you look like yourself (but you're somebody else)

This was stupid.

Jess knew it when he first called Luke, the hesitation in his voice when he’d finally caved and told him where Rory was. And Jess agreed with him, maybe this wasn’t a good idea, what good could possibly come of it? Still, he came. But that wasn’t even the stupid part.

The stupid part, was him hiding in a corner outside the gate of the Gilmore residence, standing intimidating and important as it always had, while Jess’s neck was being poked by branches, half in the hedge itself. He tries not to think of the metaphors hidden there and fails, pausing to check the time, 12:47AM, he wonders where Rory is, wonders what’s keeping her.

_A seventeen-year-old Jess moves toward the windows of Rory’s bedroom window. “Do these open?” he asks._   
_Rory, all wide-eyed to a point of almost naivete, responds, “yeah, you just have to unlatch them and then push.”_   
_“Great.” He moves to open the window, “shall we?”_   
_Her eyes dart to the side, he takes a second to wonder at how blue they are. “Shall we what?”_   
_A shrug of his shoulders. “Bail.”_   
_“No,” the word comes out of her in a surprised laugh, as though there isn’t anywhere she’d rather be than there, with the crazy lemon people._   
_He glances back at her, pausing his work on the window. “Why?”_   
_“Because it’s Tuesday night in Stars Hollow. There’s nowhere to bail to, the 24 hour mini-mart just closed 20 minutes ago.” Jess almost smiles._   
_“So we’ll walk around, or sit on a bench and stare at our shoes.” Just come with me, he thinks. Anywhere but here._   
_“Look, Sookie just made a ton of really great food and I’m starving. And though it may not seem like it right at this moment, it’s gonna be fun, trust me.” She’s smiling at him and for a second he almost considers staying._   
_“I don’t even know you.”_   
_She levels him with a look, “well, don’t I look trustworthy?”_   
_Yes. “Maybe.”_   
_“Okay, good, let’s eat!”_   
_He watches as she walks away._

Headlights blind him out of his thoughts and he stumbles further into the bush, Rory was home.

Rory sighs into her steering wheel as she parks in her grandparent’s driveway. Colin and Finn had found a street performer to harass a couple of blocks from the pub, something that might’ve been entertaining had she not needed to get them home. She had barely managed, but she convinced them to stay at the house and left a bottle of Aspirin in the room where they all crashed.  
She looks up at her grandparent’s house again, seeming taller since she’d been moved into it. She sighs again, takes her seatbelt off and steps out of her car.

The front gate creaks, making her jump as she turns to see who it is. “Jess.”

He smiles as he steps through, “hey.”

Rory blinks, surprise hindering the smile pulling at her lips. “Hey.” She sees his eyes for the first time in, god, years, was that right? “I-” his expression lifts, more open than she’s ever seen it, and she can’t finish. “Sorry, that wasn’t a sentence.”

He walks toward her, smiling. “I got the gist.”

“What are you doing here?” How could someone look exactly the same, yet totally different at the same time?

“I got a job,” he stops in front of her, “professional driveway skulker.”

Finally, she smiles. “Pay’s good?”

“Yeah, but the hours suck.”

He’s here, what is he doing here? “Jess?”

“I’m in town on a little business. All nice and above board.” Rory looks him over, red plaid peeking out of a jean jacket. There’s a Luke joke on the tip of her tongue but instead, she says, “how’d you know where to find me?”

“Luke,” Jess admits, suddenly unsure. “I shook it out of him, he wasn’t sure it was okay.”

“It’s okay,” her smile stays curled on her face. “You look good, the years don’t seem to have hardened you.”

“Yeah, you look good too.” Jess purses his lips, looking her up and down before seeming to remember what he came for. “I know this is kinda weird, but there’s actually something I wanted to tell you-show you, actually.”

Rory glances up at the house, feeling out of place, has it always been so white? “I can come back another time.”

“No,” she’s shaking her head before the word is out. “It’s just, uh, we’re kind of exposed here. Her window’s, like, right there.” She almost glares at it, for a moment.

“Who’s?” Jess leans forward.

“Uh, my grandma’s. Do you want to come in?” She asks.

Memories of black eyes, fights, portraits and swans invade his mind for a moment. “You sure?”

Rory nods. “Yeah, c’mon. Just be careful,” she warns. “She’s a very light sleeper.”

Jess follows her up the stairs, the foyer the only room that’s familiar to him. She turns to smile at him briefly before opening the door.

“Here we are,” her voice is faint, something in her tone tells him the softness behind it is more out of hesitation than trying to avoid waking her grandmother. _What is she doing here?_

“Casa Rory,” he says, taking in the pink walls, the floral patterns and wallpaper. _No books?_ He almost asks but stops himself.

She closes the door and grabs a perfectly fluffed, floral coloured pillow. “So our voices don’t carry.” She explains.

“Very prudent,” he nods.

“This is not really, my taste.” There was a hesitation in her voice again.

He almost smiles. “Yeah, not unless you’ve aged about 90 years.”

She grins at his teasing. “I haven’t,” she assures him.

“Is that for Halloween?” He asks, pointing to the pink dress hanging from her door.

Rory grabs it, “no, no,” nervous laughter breaks through her voice and she tries to push it down. “This is just for a.. function I have to go to.”

“A function?” Jess asks.

“It’s just a job,” she rationalizes, looking down. “The D.A.R, Daughters of the American Revolution,” she cuts herself off. “It’s not a career or anything.”

“I hope not,” Jess says, moving to look at the plans on a small table near an ottoman. No desk.

“See, don’t get the wrong idea,” her voice is bashful. “I’m just here temporarily, my Mom and I-”

She can’t seem to finish so Jess turns to her, nodding. “Luke alluded to something.”

“It’s a long story.” She sighs, arms crossed. “I was crashing in the pool house, and that was just temporary but the pool house became storage, so then I had to move into the main house and- all temporary.”

Jess’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Isn’t school in session?”

Rory can’t manage to form any words. “Mhm.”

“Why aren’t you living on campus?”

Here it is. “Because I’m not going.”

“You graduate already Doogie?” He asks, making her chew the inside of her cheek briefly at his tone.

“No,” she admits. “I’m just taking a little time off.”

He nods, as though he understands, the truth is right in front of him but he can’t fathom it. “Time off.”

She smiles briefly before walking to her bed as she changes the subject. “So, where are you living, Jess? I wanna hear about you. Mystery man.” She winces at herself, why had she said that?

He doesn’t look at her, taking his bag off as he sits on the ottoman across from her. “Uh, I’m in Philly.”

She leans forward. “Really?”

Jess looks up at her, “don’t laugh.”

Rory pushes laughter down as she smiles at him. “No, I’m not, Philadelphia’s gotten cool.”

He smiles at the effort. “Yeah, and New York’s gotten expensive. Anyway, it’s a pretty cool scene in Philly now, lot of younger people there.” Jess scrambles for a moment, looking down. “Pretty big art scene.”

“I know,” she smiles, still not making direct eye contact. “I read that in the New York Times. They had a picture of a bunch of young people standing on a roof, kind of eclectic and all. Looked fun, I mean it was clearly one of those pictures that wasn’t candid. It was looking a little stiff, but they looked happy.” Her ramble comes to a close and she feels like a high school student who hadn’t gone over their speech enough, checking for points every few seconds, only making eye contact when necessary.

He takes pity on her. “Are you nervous?”

Rory smiles. “A little. It’s been a long time.”

“I’m a little nervous too.” Jess admits and the tension in her stomach loosens a little.

“Good, I’m not alone.”

“So, I didn’t just come here to chat.” Jess leans down to grab his bag. “I wanted to show you something.”

“Right, you said that.” Rory confirms.

He rifles through his bag and curiosity outweighs her nervousness for the moment.

_“You’re squirming, I’ve never seen you squirm.” She leans on the counter, eye level with him. “It’s entertaining.”_   
_“Oh yeah?”_   
_“Yeah.”_

He’s talking again. “I didn’t think you’d believe me if I didn’t show it to you in person.” Jess knows it’s an excuse, but she seems to think nothing of it.  
“Well, colour me curious.” He hands it to her, keeping his hand steady despite the nerves he suddenly feels as he watches her examine the cover. “A book.” She turns it over. “The Subsect.” A short pause. “Written by Jess Mariano.”

She looks him right in the eyes then, he shakes it off. “It’s no miss-print.”

“You wrote a book?” She holds it tightly.

“A short novel.” He corrects, still not meeting her eyes.

“You wrote a _book_?” She’s making it a bigger deal than it is, he starts to explain.

“Through a fluke, I got it to these guys with a small press, they read it.” He pauses. “I don’t know if they were high, or something, but they decided to publish it.” The disbelief in his voice is genuine.

“You wrote a book.” Her voice is soft now, as she rifles through the pages, all awkwardness gone. It was real, and concrete, sitting in her hands. _Jess wrote a book._

“There’s no money in it,” he rushes like it’s not a big deal. “They only printed like 500 of ‘em.” He laughs it off. “Believe me, I’m not quitting my day job.”

_“People like Mark Twain wrote in margins.”_

Rory stands, pacing back and forth, not taking her eyes off the book, a smile playing at her lips. “But you wrote it. You wrote a book.”

He looks up at her, “I know, it’s hard to believe.”

She doesn’t seem to hear him. “You sat down and wrote a novel.”

“Author distributed too,” he can’t stop talking. “That’s what I’m doing here.” She turns to him. “I’m going around begging independent bookstores to put it in stock.” An afterthought. “Got it in a few.”

Rory halts. “Cool, where?”

“Around.”

Excitement makes her jump a little. “I wanna see it in a store!”

Jess is smiling now. “I can give you the addresses.”

“You know what I’m gonna do when I see it in a store?”

“What?”

_“Oh, here come the pom-poms!”_

“You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations?” She wasn’t looking for a response, but he nods anyway. “I’m gonna grab a copy of your book and put it in that section. And then, I’m gonna write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it, and buy it.”

Rory presses the book to her chin, like it’s already something precious to her. Jess laughs lightly, “read it first, that way you can discourage people from buying it.”

She sits down, already shaking her head. “No way, I know it’s good. Jess, you’ve got such a great brain. I knew if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around you could do something like this. I knew it, _I knew it_.” Rory smiles down at the book.

_“No, no pom-poms, just me saying ‘you could do more.’”_

Jess nods. “I know you did.” She looks at him with the same smile she gave the book, and he wants to see more of it, so he keeps going. “I work at that press now. Five smelly guys in a cramped room on Locusts street putting out about three books a month, but it’s fun.”

“And what about a sequel, are you writing a sequel?” She asks, excitement still coming off her in waves.

He leans toward her. “You should read it before you get too jazzed about it, okay?”

She smiles, about to respond, then jumps out of her skin. “Sh!” They both freeze, she sighs in relief. “Sorry, I thought I heard footsteps. I think we’re okay.”

Her voice is a whisper again, and the moment is gone. “It’s kinda late, I should go.”

Jess stands and Rory concedes. “It is kinda late.”

He pauses to look at her. “So, I just basically wanted to show you that, tell you… tell you that I couldn’t have done it without you.”

He’s looking in her eyes and it’s almost too much, “thanks.” She says.

“I’m gonna be around for a couple more days,” he says. “Can we talk again? Preferably above a whisper?”

Rory smiles, “yeah. I’d like that. How about tomorrow night?”

  
“Eight okay?” He asks.

With a nod of her head, she says, “yup.”

“Good,” he smiles, relief loosening his shoulders. “I’ll sneak out on my own.” He whispers.

“Cool,” she whispers, following him to the door anyway.

Jess picks up the pillow sitting at the door, handing it to her. She hugs it to herself, the book along with it, before she remembers. “Hey, your book.” She offers it back to him.

He smiles, halfway out the door. “Oh, that’s yours.”

She nods, and when the door closes she sits on the bed, pillow still clutched to her as she opens the book, Jess’s book. Rory throws the pillow back and lays down, book to her chest as she stares at the ceiling. She goes through the night's events, hardly believing it happened. She wants to talk about it, wants to call someone-

She wants to call Lorelai.

But she can’t, so instead, she falls asleep, lights still on and The Subsect still in hand.

The next day comes quicker than Jess expected, before he realizes, he's back in the Gilmore’s driveway after taking extra care to park out of the even Emily Gilmore’s eyesight. He stands there for a moment, debating knocking before grabbing some pebbles out of the fountain as he ultimately decides against it. With careful aim, he begins to toss the pebbles at Rory’s window.

He jumps back when the front door opens, Rory startles as well. “What are you doing?”

“I didn’t know if it was okay to ring or not.” He whispers in explanation.

Rory laughs. “She’s not here.”

“She’s not?”

There’s still laughter in Rory’s voice. “She’s playing bridge tonight.”

“Oh, good.” Jess turns and tosses the remaining pebbles in the fountain. “I parked in the street so she wouldn’t see.”

“You’re very good at covert ops.” Rory smiles, and this is better, Jess decides, last night’s awkwardness was gone. They could talk, catch up, he could try to understand why she left Yale.

“Years of practice.” He says. “So, where you wanna go?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, I don’t know the area that well.”

“You _live_ here.”

“I know,” she concedes. “But Hartford’s still a mystery. Even when I went to Chilton I just got right on the bus and headed home, so I don’t even have any old high school hangouts to revisit. And these days, I’ve just been eating here.”

Jess nods. “Well, I just prefer not going to someplace that has food in the title.”

Rory narrows her eyes, confused. “Meaning?”

“Olive, chilli, soup, no gardens, no plantations.” 

Rory scarcely manages not to grin, _of course._ “Got it,” she nods. “Something funkier.”

“Steer me to the college district, I’ll find us something funky.” _And find out why you're not there in the first place,_ he thinks.

“Sounds good.” She smiles and they turn to see headlights as a silver Porsche pulls into the driveway.

Rory tenses, unable to look at Jess as Logan pulls up with an expression like he’s already decided to assume the worst.

Jess turns to her in confusion but she looks at Logan with a too warm smile. “Logan!” she says, nerves mixing with the surprise in her voice.

“Am I interrupting something?” He says, closing the car door.

“No,” Rory insists. “Hey! When did you get back?” Her voice is about four octaves higher, but she can’t figure out how to get it back to normal.

“Couple hours ago.” His tone is cool, calm, like Mitchums, her nerves intensify. She can feel Jess looking at her but can’t manage to look back.

_“You told me you were doing laundry tonight.”_   
_“I was!” Rory insists._   
_Dean shakes his head. “And now, you’re here with Jess.”_   
_“And Paris!”_   
_“Jess, Rory!” He leans in, towering over her._   
_“I-well, I swear, I didn’t-”_   
_“You didn't, what? You didn’t know he was gonna come over?”_   
_“I didn’t!”_

“Oh, I- I thought you were getting back tomorrow.” She looks at him, she has nothing to feel guilty for, so she tries to swallow the feeling.

He smiles. “I thought I’d surprise ya, Ace.”

“Well,” Rory smiles. “I’m glad you did because you get to meet my old friend, Jess.” She finally turns to him, he manages a smile. “This is Logan, my boyfriend, Logan, this is Jess. He’s in from out of town.”

Logan and Jess stare at each other for a moment before Rory begins rambling. “Wow, that sounded so grown up. We’re at the age now where we say things like, ‘in from out of town’ and, ‘old friend.’ Cause when you’re young, all your friends are new, you have to get old to have old friends.”

Jess can feel Logan staring at him, but he’s smiling at Rory as she rambles. She’s nervous, he chuckles a bit when Rory looks at him and smiles.

Logan leans over her, hand outstretched. “How you doin?” Rory leans back instinctively, blinking at the intrusion.

He grabs Jess’s hand in a firm grip. “Okay.” Jess nods, resisting the age-old urge to run off.

“We were just gonna go grab a bite to eat,” Rory says.

“Great, well how do you feel about going together? That okay?” Logan asks and Rory’s stomach drops.

Rory looks down, waiting for Jess to say no. “Okay by me.” He says instead and she looks at him but there’s no time to try to decipher his expression.

“Alright.” She says. “Good,” she forces out. “We were actually at a loss for where to go, so you actually saved us.”

Logan smirks. “Call me Superman.” He wraps an arm around Rory’s shoulder, pulling her toward his car. “Why don’t you follow us?”

“Sure,” Jess says, voice low.

“Great, c’mon.” Logan says, walking Rory to the passenger door.

Rory looks at his hand on her shoulder and wants to pull it off, she almost does, wants to tell him to stop acting like this, that she doesn’t want to be pulled into an alpha male competition. Wants to tell him she’s been there before and for a second, she really, really hates him for coming home early and ruining this.

Jess watches as Rory’s boyfriend opens the door for her. When she’s in the car Jess looks at the ground, almost laughing at himself.

_“Jess, this is Dean.” Rory says, staring at the ground._   
_“Boyfriend?”_   
_“Of course.”_   
_“Sorry, you didn’t say.”_

He considers driving off, but thinks he's bailed on her enough so instead, he follows them to a bar.

Logan starts talking as soon as they sit down, Jess across from Rory who’s keeping her arms wrapped around her stomach. He insists they cheers after they order their drinks, Rory hesitantly lifting her club soda. “I live pretty close, I’d’ve had you over to check it out but it’s a bit of a mess.”

“And you don’t serve food,” Rory smiles. “So we would’ve been starving at your place.”

Logan smiles, but doesn’t look at her. “I’ve got appetizers, half-full bag of chips, just check the expiration date before you dive in.”

“I’m good with this place,” Jess says, looking around.

“Little pointer, don’t come on folk night,” Logan says.

“Yeah, I’m not a big fan of folk music.” He responds.

Logan nods. “Something we have in common.”

The only thing. Jess refrains from saying it, “great.” He looks at Rory, questions running through his mind and see’s only apologies in her eyes. _What are you doing, Rory?_

“Where’s a waitress?” Logan snaps his fingers at the waitress in a redshirt. “Here, uh, another Macallan’s neat, and Jess, another brew?”

Jess shakes his head. “I’m still working on this one.”

“Another one,” Logan insists. “Just in case.”

Rory can’t get the nagging feeling out of her stomach, looking for any distraction from this passive-aggressive power play she changes the subject. “So, we should probably order.” She looks to Jess, “it’s a big menu, so if you need guidance.”

The two of them never would’ve come to a place like this, she knows it. See’s the way Jess is closing up again, all previous openness gone. “I’m not hungry.”

“You’re not hungry?” The accusation is clear in Logan’s voice.

“Nope.” Jess says, and Rory can feel that he’s going to bolt soon, her stomach plummets. She suddenly doesn’t feel hungry either, and she’s a Gilmore.

“Thought the whole point was you two were going to get something to eat?” Rory looks at Logan, sick of the tone in his voice.

“And talk.” She says, tightening her hold on herself.

“Well yes,” Logan says patronizingly, “given that you’re gonna talk while you eat. Y’know the chef de cuisine will make anything you want if nothing there appeals.”

Rory looks at Jess, she doesn’t want him to leave. “The burgers are good here.”

Jess’s eyes soften when he looks at her. “Maybe a burger.”

“Get one of the fancy ones too,” Logan says and Rory wishes he would just stop. “And it’s on me, so don’t let the price stop you.”

Jess looks up from the menu briefly. “I’ll pay for my own.”

“Good man,” Logan says, frustrated that he doesn’t seem to be getting to Jess. He looks at his own menu. “So, how long have you two known each other?”

Jess closes his menu, guarded. “A while.”

“You date?” Logan still doesn’t look up.

“Yes,” Rory says, glancing at Jess. “We used to date.”

“Ah, no hemming, no hawwing, good course of action.” He says flipping his menu closed. “So, were you two high school sweethearts? Rock around the clock, two straws in the milkshake?”

“Logan,” Rory starts, aggravation clear in her voice.

“Hey, did we cheers?” He says, interrupting her. “I don’t think we cheers’d, that’s bad luck, let’s cheers.”

Jess takes a sip of his beer. “I think we did already. Twice.”

“Well let’s do it again,” Logan says, they raise their glasses “Cheers.”

“So, what do you do Jess?” He asks, Rory twists her hands together in her lap.

“Oh, this and that.” Jess says.

“Describe the _‘this,_ ’ describe the ‘ _that_.’” Logan says.

Rory huffs a sigh and glares at Logan. “He writes.”

“You write? Impressive. What do you write?” Rory wonders if his voice has always sounded like that or if it’s just tonight. She reflects on their relationship, she never told Logan about Jess. Never really told anyone about Jess, but she never realized it until now. Why didn’t she tell him?

“Nothin’ important.” Jess says.

It IS important, Rory thinks, her frustration growing. “He wrote a book.”

“Oh!” Logan says. “You pen the Great American Novel, Jess?”

“Wasn’t quite that ambitious,” Jess responds.

“So what’re we talking here?” Logan goes on as if Jess hadn’t spoken. “Short novel? Kafka length, or longer? Dos Passos? Tolstoy? Or longer, Robert Musil, Proust? I’m not throwing you with these names, am I?”

Rory takes a sip of her club soda to avoid scoffing.

Jess has a hand on his glass when he meets Logan's eyes. “You seem very obsessed with length.”

“I’m just trying to get a picture in my head, that’s all.”

“It’s a short novel!” Rory bursts.

Suddenly, Logan seems interested, turning his attention to her. “Any good?”

“I haven’t read it yet,” Rory admits. _I was exhausted from tracking your friends down and getting you home._

“Yet?” Logan cocks his head. “Well, you’re sure to have one reader, that’s something.”

Jess lifts his glass, ready to take off. “Yeah.” He doesn’t want to think about the fact that Rory Gilmore didn’t instantly sit and read his book. He searches for any sign of her but she won’t look at him.

“Y’know I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me in conversations I have and just add a bunch of ‘he said’ ‘she saids’ and get it published. You got a copy on you?” Rory chews on the inside of her lip at Logan’s tone, her anger mixing with embarrassment starting to build up.

“No,” Jess says.

Logan smiles. “Well, you should send me a copy.”

“Sure,” Jess says and Rory instantly recognizes his tone. “Where do I send it? Theblonddick@yale?”

“Jess,” Rory says, a plea. He stands anyway.

“Oh whoa, we’re just trying to keep it friendly here buddy,” Logan says, standing as Jess walks away.

“Get out of my way,” Jess says, walking fast before Logan can get in his face and he does something stupid like hit him.

Rory gets up, pushing past Logan, “Forget him, Rory.”

She scarcely hears him, only sparing a glance as she walks away. “Don’t follow me.” She runs out the door to see Jess putting his coat on. “Jess, wait.” He turns to her and stops. “Jess, I’m sorry.”

“We shouldn’t have done this,” Jess says, buttoning up his coat.

The knot in Rory’s stomach tightens with dread. “He’s just in a bad way lately.”

Jess almost wants to shake her, wants to ask why she’s defending him. _What the hell is going on?_ “He’s a jerk.”

Rory nods, “he was. In there? Definitely. I’m so sorry.”

 _Since when does Rory Gilmore apologize for people?_ “I read that guy the second I saw him, I should’ve begged off.”

She sighs, looking resigned. “Well, I didn’t want you to!”

“He better not come out here,” is all he can manage to say.

At his irritation, Rory takes a different route. “Please, Jess. He had a lot to drink, he’s tired from travelling,” she shakes her head. “This isn’t him, I swear.”

Jess shakes his head, she doesn’t get it. _I don’t care about him._ “What the hell is going on?”

“I told you, he’s-he’s tired… and his family’s bugging him right now-” Rory scrambles but Jess isn’t buying any of it.

“I mean with you,” Jess interrupts. “What’s going on with _you?_ ”

Rory pauses. “What do you mean?”

He gives her a look of disbelief. “You _know_ what I mean! I know you, I know you better than anyone! This isn’t you.”

“I don’t know-” Rory says.

Jess carries on. “What are you doing? Living at your grandparent’s place, being in the D.A.R, no Yale,” the list gets more and more unbelievable as he goes on. “ _Why_ did you _drop_ out of _Yale_?”

“It’s complicated.” She insists.

“It’s not!” He says. “It’s not complicated!”

She doesn’t want to do this, doesn’t want to have this conversation with him. “You don’t know!”

 _I know enough_ , he thinks. She stands stubborn and shell shocked as he makes the whirlpool that has been her life lately sound so simple, even in irritation. “ _This isn’t you_! This, you going out with this jerk, with a Porsche, we made fun of guys like this!”

She tries to change the subject, tired of everyone blaming Logan for what’s going on lately. “You caught him on a bad night!”

“This isn’t about _him_!” Jess’s voice is raised but not quite a yell, more emphatic and desperate than loud and angry. “Okay? _Screw him!_ What’s going on with _you?_ This isn’t you Rory, you know it isn’t. What’s going on?”

Jess ducks down to look her in the eyes. “I don’t know!” She exclaims and doesn’t realize the truth of her words until then. _God, what is she doing?_ “I don’t know.” She says softly, unable to look at him.

She’s lost, Jess realizes. It’s hard to imagine, it’s something he doesn’t think anyone would have expected, but it’s there, right in front of him. As she stands, pulling an expensive-looking blazer tightly around herself. He can’t fault her, on some level he knows how she feels. _What happened?_

“Hey, uh,” his voice is a sigh. “Maybe- maybe we’ll catch up. At a better time.”

She purses her lips, nodding slightly. He taps her elbow softly, before walking away. A thought stops him before he can make it to his car. He turns, “happy birthday, by the way.” She looks at him, disbelief in her eyes. “Wasn’t that a couple weeks ago, your birthday?”

Rory nods, unable to actually respond, and watches as he walks away from her. Everything begins crashing down on her, the yacht, leaving Yale, her mom, living with her grandparents, Logan- she halts at the thought and storms back into the restaurant.

Logan chuckles when he sees her. “You’re not gonna believe this! Over the music, the crowd, I hear one girl’s voice cutting through it all. The folk singer, she’s in the corner with her boyfriend. I sent them over a round of drinks, what the hell right?” He pauses at her expression. “He gone?”

“Yes,” she grits out. “He’s gone.”

Logan puts his drink down. “Writer’s are so sensitive.”

Rory scoffs in disbelief. “You were a _jerk_ , Logan!”

“I was just challenging him, jeez.” Logan shakes his head. “Hey, if Hemingway can take it, so can he. Hey, if he wanted to, he could’ve taken a pop at me. Pugnacity! It’s a vital component of literary life. Again, consult your Hemingway. C’mon, do not let this guy get to you.”

Rory shakes her head, had he always been like this? Had she just not seen it? “You’re getting to me!”

“Me?”

“Yes! You were an ass.” She says.

Logan instantly changes his tone. “Look, I’m sorry I came back early, I really messed things up here!”

“Jess wrote a book!” Rory exclaims. “He wrote a book and you _mocked_ him!” Maybe it wasn't fair, Logan couldn't understand why the way he'd acted tonight, the way he'd instantly demeaned Jess's accomplishments was such a terrible thing to her. But she did. 

_"Luke?" She looks up from her doughnut, cast clad wrist resting on the counter._

_"Yeah?" Luke asks, expression steady as always._

_She sighs. "It wasn't his fault."_

_Luke nods, something akin to a smile on his face. "I know it wasn't."_

_For the first time since the accident, she breathes evenly._

“I did not mock him.” Logan denies, shaking his head, wondering why she cares so damn much about this ex that he’d never heard of until tonight.

“He’s doing something!” She insists.

“Fine, he’s doing something,” Logan says. “Everybody in the world’s doing something, more power to him.” He wishes she would just come sit down again.

“I’m not!” She cries instead. “I mean, what am I doing? I’m _living_ with my _grandparents_.”

“That’s temporary, have a drink.”

“Temporary can turn into forever.” She says.

Logan shakes his head. “You’re not living with the Gilmores forever.”

His voice falls on deaf ears as she continues. “I’m palling with my grandmother, I’m being waited on by a maid. I come home, and my shoes are magically shined, my clothes are magically cleaned, ironed and laid out, my bed is magically turned down. _I’m in the D.A.R?_ ”

Logan looks at her, not recognizing this person, where was his Ace? This was temporary, none of it was a justification for this. But Rory continued, “I’m going to meetings and teas and cocktail parties?”

“Again,” Logan says, “temporary. Have a drink.” She just needs to get her mind off of this.

That only seems to fuel her. “And wasting my time, partying and drinking. Just, hanging out, doing nothing!”

Logan stands abruptly, she can’t put all this on him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t pull me into this.”

Rory pauses, confused. “I didn’t say anything about you.”

“Yes, you did,” Logan says. “Don’t make me feel guilty for your drinking and partying, that’s your choice. I’m not forcing you, when I ask you out, you can say no.”

Rory’s anger flares up again. “It’s all we do!”

“It’s not all we do!” He denies.

“It’s all you do.” Rory counters.

Logan clenches his teeth. “Well, it’s my prerogative, you know? You’re damn straight, I’m gonna party. I’m gonna do it while I have the chance because come June my life is over!”

Rory rolls her eyes. “Oh! Yeah! Your horrible life, let’s hear about it.”

Logan wipes his mouth angrily. “Got a week?”

“You have every door open to you!” Rory scoffs. “You have opportunities that anyone would kill for, including me!”

“No one’s stopping you from making whatever you want happen.” He says it like it’s so easy and Rory shakes her head. “Go into journalism. Go into politics. Be a doctor. Be a clown. Do whatever you want!”

“It’s not as easy when it’s not handed to you!” She says.

“Really?” He asks. “It’s all so easy for me? I don’t want that life! It’s forced on me! You talk about all these doors being open? All I see is one door, and I’m being _pushed_ through it! I have no choice, you try living without options!”

“How hard are you fighting it?” She exclaims, wanting to use his words against him. _No one’s stopping you from making whatever you want happen._

“I didn’t tell you to quit Yale!” He’s yelling now. Bar goers uncomfortably pretending not to stare around them. “You did that! I gave you one month, you went beyond the month and it had _nothing_ to do with me! It was all you! Now you wanna change? Change it. But don’t blame me! Don’t you dare blame me! You know what? Why don’t you go off with John, Jack or whatever his name is?”

“Oh, I’m not going off with Jess!” She puts emphasis on his name, Logan seems to calm down, he’s about to speak but she shakes her head. See’s the resignation on his face and decides then and there that she doesn’t want to hate Logan.

He's right, this isn't his fault, but she knows she can’t fix it with him around. “This is over.” She mumbles, meeting his eyes. “Isn’t it?”

He looks at her, surprise evident on his face for a moment. Abruptly, he sighs, “yeah. I guess it is.” She watches as he pulls out some cash. “That should cover the bill, a cab, have a nice life, Rory.”

And he walks away.

Leaving the money, Rory gets in a cab, rushing back to her grandparent’s house. Grabbing the boxes from when she moved from the pool house into the main house she began throwing her clothes in haphazardly, she could organize later. Packing up everything in the room that’s hers, albeit, that isn’t much. Swallowing the feeling of suffocation that’s growing with every moment she spends in this house, she carefully smooths the comforter. She glances briefly at the dress for tomorrow's function, it _did_ look like something she would only wear on Halloween, she remembers playing dress up as Donna Reed for Dean and thinks maybe what she's been doing now hasn't been so different. She leaves it, it's not hers. 

Rushing down the stairs, she stuffs each box into the back of her car before getting in the driver’s seat. Only when she’s around the corner, only when she can breathe again, does she call Lane.

“Rory?”

“Hey, Lane,” her voice sounds breathless, she clears her throat. “I, um, I need a place to crash for a few days, can I come stay with you?”

Lane’s silent for a few moments, shock preventing her from speaking. “Lane? If not it’s okay, I’ll figure something out-”

“Rory, of course you can come stay here,” Lane says finally. “When’re you coming?”

“Now?” Rory says.

Lane nods, “now’s good. See you soon.”

“Thanks Lane.”

When Rory sees the Welcome to Stars Hollow sign she smiles, and when she sees Lane she hugs her before she can say hello and doesn’t let go until Lane insists she can’t breathe. She doesn't cry, but the ache behind her eyes tells her she's somewhere close. She releases Lane and takes a deep breath, relishing in how much easier it feels to do so now. 

Early the next morning, Luke finds Lorelai sitting in the chair at the end of Rory’s bed, falling asleep as she watches Paul Anka.

He rubs her shoulder to wake her up. Lorelai starts, face puffy and tear-stained. “Is he okay?” She asks, voice thick.

“Yeah, he looks the same,” Luke says, knelt by Lorelai’s side.

“Is he breathing?” She asks, anxiously.

“He’s breathing,” Luke confirms.

“Nice and steady?”

He doesn’t take his eyes off her. “He’s fast asleep.”

“Good,” Lorelai says, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“You been here all night?” His concern leaks into his voice.

“Uh,” Lorelai sighs. “I kept thinking I heard him.”

Luke smiles, looking at Paul Anka. “Yeah, he does snore occasionally.”

“And then he was cold, so I put his jersey on him.”

He nods. “Yeah, I think he likes it.”

“Yeah,” she takes a deep breath. “Every time I’d go back up to bed, you know, after checking on him, I just was convinced that he needed me, so I came back. And finally, I just ended up here.”

Her voice breaks at the end, Luke keeps his gentle. “Yeah, it’s as good a place as any.”

Lorelai smiles. “Yeah. He doesn’t wanna eat anything. I had all these milk bones ready for him, but he doesn’t want anything.”

Luke looks at Rory’s dresser, spotting a baster sitting on it. “What’s the baster for?”

Lorelai purses her lips. “In case he’s thirsty, but he can’t lift his head so I can just shoot the water in his mouth.”

“Got it.”

Lorelai sighs deeply, feeling helpless. “He doesn’t seem to want anything.”

“He’s gonna be okay, he’s strong,” Luke reassures.

Lorelai shrugs. “He’s so helpless. It must be so awful to be sick when you’re a dog,” her voice begins to break. “Cause you can’t run, or play, and you don’t watch TV or do anything to pass the time. Watching a lot of TV is the only good thing about being sick.”

He taps her foot. “I know.”

“And the thing with the shoes, he was trying to tell me something,” Lorelai says.

“What?” Luke humours her.

Another deep breath. “He was trying to tell me to put my shoes on and take him to the vet because he felt something coming on, and he was trying to ward it off, and I didn’t take him.”

“I don’t think that’s why he was playing with your shoes.”

Tears fill Lorelai’s eyes. “I tried so hard. I have a list of things that he’s afraid of on the fridge, and I tried to do the right thing. I should not have socialized him at Kirk’s doggy day care the other day. I should have taken him to the _best_ doggy daycare, in the country, even if it was in Seattle. _That’s_ where I should have taken him.”

“He’s fine hanging with Kirk.” Luke says.

“I did this wrong,” she chokes out, not really talking to him anymore. “I did this all wrong. How could I have let this happen? How did I not see it coming? How, didn’t I step in and do something, and why can’t I fix these things?”

“Hey-” Luke whispers, rubbing her shoulder.

“I’m a _bad_ mother!” She exclaims.

“You’re _not_ a bad mother,” Luke sighs. “Did you sleep at all?”

Lorelai sniffs. “A little.”

He strokes her hair, “you stay home this morning. I’ll call Sookie and tell her you’ll be late.”

Lorelai nods, wiping her tears away. “He’s gonna be okay.” Luke whispers.

She shakes her head, “I hope so.”

“ _Everything’s_ gonna be okay.” Luke kisses her head, then her cheek, staying with her for the moment. _Rory will come back,_ he thinks, urging the thought to reach her as he presses their temples together.

In Hartford, Emily Gilmore is opening her granddaughter’s room to see it empty. She rifles through her drawers, searching for her address book.

Rory, having finished changing, walks out of Lane’s bedroom to meet her in the kitchen. After the first goodnight’s sleep she’s gotten in months, she greets Lane with a smile.

“Good morning, friend,” Lane says, more than pleased to have Rory in Stars Hollow.

“Back at ya, friend.” Rory smiles. “Where are the guys?” She asks, looking around the cluttered apartment.

“They go to work early,” Lane grabs the coffee pot from the counter. “I made you coffee.”

“Oh, I’ve got time for a sip,” Rory says gratefully. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”

“Anytime you want,” the honest conviction in Lane’s voice makes Rory smile.

“I might take you up on that.” Rory takes a sip of her coffee and Lane gives her a look as she places the pot back on the counter.

“I can’t wait to hear the whole story.” She says.

“Mm,” the coffee burns down Rory’s throat. “Still livin’ it.”

Lane’s expression morphs into something like a disbelieving smirk, unsure of how to break the news. “So, I got a message on my cell phone, from your grandmother.”

Rory’s eyebrows shoot up. “On _your_ cell phone?”

“How did she get the number?” Lane asks, bewildered.

Rory sighs. “She’s Emily Gilmore. I gotta run. Bye ” Grabbing her blazer, that she’s now decided she hates, Rory makes her way out the door. 

“Drive carefully!” Lane calls behind her.

Rory shoots her a smile and begins making her way to Hartford, a grim feeling of dread intensifying with every mile. She suddenly understands her Mom’s point of view on these things, distance from the Gilmore’s could be good, every now and then. She distracts herself with lists on the drive, clothes to donate or leave with her grandmother, she'll have no use for them, papers to get her references out to, she'll have to edit her resumes to add her community service. Lost in thought, she gets to the function earlier than expected, she sets her mouth grimly before urging herself to just get through the day. 

The function was exactly as to be expected, everything was going off without a hitch, except for Emily Gilmore, who arrived eyes darting around the room, looking for her granddaughter.

“A fresh platter is all we need, thanks.” Rory finishes saying to a waitress as she walks up.

“I need to go somewhere and have a little talk with you,” Emily says, prompting Rory to shake her head, defiance blooming in her chest.

“Later, Grandma. I’m needed out here.” Her tone is one she’s heard Emily use a thousand times, hoping to leave no room for argument.

Emily manages to keep an even tone. “Young lady, I insist that we go somewhere and talk right now.”

Rory’s irritation builds, she doesn’t look at her grandmother. “Grandma, I am sorry. I can’t.”

"There’s a kitchen here, we’ll go there.” She’s about to turn when Rory interrupts.

“ _No,_ I’m not going to the kitchen with you. We’ll talk later.” Her tone still remains that civil likeness to Emily’s.

“Must they play those damn guitars?” Emily asks, far more irritated now.

“They’re balalaikas!” Rory exclaims in a hushed tone.

Emily’s grows in volume. “They’re too loud.”

“They’re Russian, and they’re not mic’d. _That’s_ their volume.” Rory’s tone had now morphed into something a lot more like Lorelai’s, Emily stares at her in disbelief.

“I’m not liking this tone of yours.” She says.

Rory’s voice raises slightly. “Well, you’re forcing the tone, grandma. I said I’ll talk to you later but right now, I’m not leaving this room.”

Rory walks away, prompting Emily to follow her. “Where were you last night? Why didn’t you call?”

“You’re overreacting,” Rory says, not looking back.

“You’re not wearing your dress.” Emily critiques.

A heavy sigh leaves Rory and she stops, turning to face her grandmother. “I didn’t have time to go home.” She doesn't tell her that she couldn't stand the sight of it after last night.

“You almost missed the event!” Emily says.

“No,” Rory denies. “I was early for the event. What I _missed_ was your inspection of me back at the house. _That’s_ what you’re upset about.”

“My inspections, missy, are for your own good.” Emily patronizes. “You’re new to the D.A.R, you don’t know the proper procedure for things, the proper dress.”

The condescension in her tone irritates Rory, she doesn’t care about the proper dress. “I do okay!”

“This is not just about me,” Emily shakes her head. “Everyone was worried about you.”

Disbelief colours Rory’s anger. “You mean everyone you called when you took my private address book and tried to find me?”

“Yes, I did call people,” Emily says.

“Well, you shouldn’t have.” Rory felt sixteen instead of twenty-one and wondered how her Mother managed for so long.

“A lot of good it did,” Emily says. “You should update that ridiculous address book of yours. Half the numbers were disconnected.”

“Oh,” sarcasm drips from Rory’s tone. “I’ll do that.”

“You have people in there you haven’t spoken to for years. You should remove them.” Emily says.

“Uh-huh,” Rory says, unable to find words.

“I’m throwing that book out.”

Rory glares. “Do _not_ throw that book out.”

Emily’s tone is almost sweet when she speaks. “Do not use that tone with me.”

The warning is obvious, Rory ignores it. “I want to be very clear.”

“You are becoming more like your _mother_ with every passing day.” The resentment is clear in Emily’s voice.

And that’s an insult? Rory glares. “And you are becoming more like my mother’s mother, with every passing day.”

Emily’s blood boils. “That’s it. That’s it.”

“What’s it?” Rory asks.

“You’re grounded.”

Rory almost laughs. “Grounded?”

“Yes.”

“I’m twenty-one!” She exclaims. “You can’t ground me.”

“And no more sleepovers at Paris’s house,” Emily says, feeling as though she has the upper hand.

“Grandma,” Rory begins. “I go wherever I want, whenever I want. And I haven’t been sleeping at Paris’s house three nights a week, I’ve been at Logan’s!”

Emily baulks. “When your father gets home we’re going to talk about the house rules and be on the same page once and for all!”

Rory’s mouth drops open. “You mean my grandfather.”

“You know what I meant!” Emily snaps.

“Well, I’d have to be _living_ at the house to have house rules!” Rory says, keeping her voice just below a yell.

“What does that mean?” Emily backtracks.

“Excuse me,” Rory says, spinning and walking away.

“Young lady do not walk away from me!” Emily calls after her but is scarcely heard. She storms out of the room, attracting stares from the ladies at the tables surrounding her.

Rory walks into a back room and dials a familiar number. It rings twice before heading to voicemail. “Finn, could you and Colin help me tomorrow. I need to move my things from my grandparents' house. Thanks, call me back.”

She snaps her phone shut and walks back into the function.


	2. i'd like to be my old self again (but i'm still trying to find it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of her break up with Logan and conversation with Jess, Rory takes a hard look at her life and decides her next move.

Taking a deep breath, Rory prepares herself for another likely icy encounter with Emily Gilmore and walks swiftly through the dining room, grabbing a muffin from the kitchen. Her grandmother doesn’t look up and speaks just before Rory is allowed to escape. 

“Sumatra, please get my granddaughter a plate.” Her tone is even, Rory wonders how many times she missed it when it was directed at her mother at all those Friday Night Dinners. 

“That’s all right Sumatra,” Rory says. “I’m just going up to my room.” 

A brief sigh, almost silent. “Sumatra please tell my granddaughter that all food is to be consumed _in_ the dining room.” 

Rory shakes her head. “Sumatra please tell my grandmother- _what?”_

“That’s the _rule_ in this house, Rory.” 

“I’m late for community service,” Rory protests. 

“Food in this house is meant to be consumed in the dining room or not at all.” Her grandmother remains unrelenting. 

  
  


_A newly sixteen-year-old Rory smiles, retrieving the frozen pizza from her grandparents’ fridge. “I’m gonna make it,” she says in response to Emily’s questioning._

_“That hardly looks like dinner,” her grandpa says, prompting her to smile._

_Her Grandma nods. “I agree, Rory, that's food you eat at a carnival, or in a Turkish prison.”_

_She decides against a quip about how fancy a Turkish prison would have to be to serve pizza and instead says, “I promise, you’re gonna love it.”_

_“But-”_

_Rory persists, “listen, just leave it up to me. You guys go back into the living room and I’ll call you when it’s ready.”_

  
  
  
  
Today, Rory rushes out of the house. Ignoring her grandmother’s quips at the maid and trying not to take her anger too personally. Trying not to wonder if her standing in anyone’s life, that high, esteemed pedestal she seemed to have been born on, was unconditional, rather than dependent on her careful actions. She pauses at the thought, before biting her lip and carrying on, she has work to do. 

When she returns from her community service, Colin and Finn are waiting for her. Finn leaning casually against the car while Colin raises his eyebrows at her, “what’s with the sudden need to escape? Are we bringing your things to a bunker in Nantucket?” 

“Tell us, Love,” Finn says, an easy smile in place. “We’ll swoop in and whisk you off to Bora Bora if need be.” 

“I can get a helicopter,” Colin nods. 

“I can get scotch,” Finn says. 

Rory smiles, managing not to roll her eyes. “Thank you guys, for coming to help me.” She leads them inside. “I got most of my things from my room, clothes, shoes,” she falters when the list ends there. “Books, other essentials are in those two closets there.” She gestures to the hallway closets across from her bedroom. “I’ll help put some of the boxes together, but I want to be out of here by the time they get back.” She winces slightly at the implication of her words. 

“Where are you staying?” Colin asks. 

“Yes, do we need to be worried, are you sleeping in your car?” Finn jokes, his tone keeping a rare, serious edge. 

She smiles at their concern. “Yeah, I thought I’d _On The Road_ it, Finn could you get me some peyote?” 

The boys' smile but their eyes hold a grim look, they were unfamiliar with the Gilmore girls recent actions. They were confused, and a little concerned, rather than angry, like Logan had been. “I do, where should I have it sent?” Finn says with all the subtlety of a bat. 

Rory relents, “I’m staying with an old friend in Stars Hollow, Lane. I’ve known her long enough to be willing to share whatever you send.” 

Colin and Finn nod, seeming appeased and the three of them get to work, it’s a while before one of them speaks again. “So,” Colin says hesitantly, “Logan told us.” 

Rory freezes momentarily, feeling both of their eyes on her face. She continues taping up boxes, “well, I assumed he would eventually.” 

“We’re sorry, Love,” Finn says, his sincere tone making her smile. 

“We told him he was an idiot.” Colin comforts. 

“A fool.” 

“The word scoundrel was bandied about.” 

“God knows Robert will never let him hear the end of it-” 

“Forget Robert. Honor’s gonna throw a lamp at him-” 

“Guys,” Rory interrupts, finally looking at them with a smile. “It’s fine, really. Yes, we broke up, but… it’s not really anyone’s fault. I’ve been so distracted for so long and I just, this has to be something that I do on my own, okay?” 

_“It’ll be fun! It’ll be a thrill! Something stupid, something bad for you, just something different.” Logan shrugs._

_Rory sighs, looking at the ground. Logan steps forward to stand next to her. “Isn’t this the point of being young? It’s your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute, you climb up here with me, it’s one less moment you haven’t lived.”_

_The makings of a pro/con list begin in Rory’s head, she stops it. She takes a deep breath, looking up at the scaffolding before looking back at Logan. “Let’s go.”_

_He nods. “Let’s go!”_

  
  


They nod, but she knows they don’t truly understand. Still, the support puts her at enough ease to write a short goodbye note to her grandparents. 

_“Dear Grandma and Grandpa,_

_Thank you for letting me stay here, I was so lost and you were so supportive through it. But I need to refocus and I can’t do that here. Know that I love and appreciate both of you, and everything you’ve done for me, but I have to go._

_With love, Rory_

_P.S Colin and Finn are moving my things, no they will not steal anything”_

She leaves the note on the mantel and drives back to Stars Hollow. After a few moments of driving in silence, she reaches to pop the glove department open where _The Subsect_ sits amongst other books she keeps in her car at all time, all paperback, better for travel. Her hardcover copies of each normally sit at home on her shelves, but when unpacking her dorm, _Howl_ had fallen from her grasp, never making it to the shelf. The notes in the margins peaked out at her, loudly making their presence known, that’s when her collection began. _The Fountainhead_ made it to her glove box the following year when she’d moved again, and _Anna Karenina_ after that, and now, finally, _The Subsect._ It sits on top, and she closes the glove department, sighing and gripping the steering wheel. She can’t read it until she’s fixed everything, she knows this, but she’s impatient. 

Lane is already at the diner when she reaches her house, so she pulls out her laptop and gets to work. 

  
  


At Luke’s, Lorelai sits, examining the nacho’s her fiance brought her with large skepticism. Luke walks over, already shaking his head at the absurdity of this woman. “They’re gonna get cold.” There’s no way she would have noticed. 

“Are they different?” Lorelai questions instantly, lowering her fork. 

“Different than what?” Luke deflects. 

Lorelai persists. “They seem different.”

_Her senses for what might not kill her can’t be that good._ “They’re nachos, now eat them.” 

Lorelai’s gaze doesn’t waver, “you used baked chips.” 

His voice raises an octave. “What?” 

“You did, didn’t you?” She says, picking the chip off her fork. “You used baked chips and _low-fat cheese!_ ” 

She accuses as if it’s something horrible and preposterous. He sighs, ultimately conceding. “I did not… use low-fat cheese.” 

“Ha!” 

“How can you tell?!” 

“How could you lie?!” She counters. 

“They taste the _same!_ ” Luke argues. 

Lorelai shakes her head. “Oh, the trust Luke. How are we going to make it if you’re constantly trying to keep me healthy?” 

Luke sighs, giving up. “Fine, forget it.” He takes the plate. “Die at sixty.” 

“Bring me a doughnut while I wait?” Lorelai says with a victorious smile as Lane approaches, quickly walking past her. “Hey Lane!” 

Lane talks to another customer, attempting to pretend she hadn’t heard her. A knot growing in her stomach. Rory was her best friend, but Lorelai had always been someone she could trust, an adult who would let her be herself unconditionally. It didn’t feel right to lie to her, and she didn’t even know if Rory _wanted_ her to lie. 

Lorelai, determined as ever not to be ignored, continued. “Yoo-hoo! Lane! Whoo! Lane, seriously.” She waves exaggeratedly. “I’m landing planes over here.” 

Lane forces a smile and heads over to Lorelai unwillingly. “Lorelai, hey!” 

“Hey,” Lorelai says. “Fill me up here.” Lane focuses on the coffee while Lorelai continues, feeling the difference coming from the young adult. “So, how’s it going?” 

“Good.” Lane nods, still avoiding eye contact. 

“Good,” Lorelai smiles. “Haven’t seen you the last couple days.” 

Lane nods, “ah. I’ve been working the lunch shift.”

“Oh.” Lorelai moves, trying to get Lane to look at her. “Something wrong?” 

“Wrong?” Lane repeats, voice high. 

“Yeah, you’re giving me a _Valerie Cherish,_ you know?” Lorelai says. “‘I don’t wanna see that!’” She laughs lightly. She hesitates as Lane continues to look down. “It’s a great show, you should watch it.”  
  


“I will.” 

“It’s cancelled.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Well, it’s your fault, so.” Lorelai chuckles before sighing. “Wow, what’s going on here? Usually, when I come in I say hi, you say hi, I tell you what’s been going on in my life, you tell me what’s been going on in your life.” She shrugs. “It’s not curing the bird flu or anything but it’s been a nice tradition.” 

Lane sighs, biting the inside of her cheek briefly before deciding. “Rory moved in with me.” 

That stops Lorelai in her tracks. “She-” A sigh escapes her. “But why? What happened?” 

“I don’t really know,” Lane says. “We haven’t had an in-depth conversation yet. She just said she moved out of her grandparents’ house and needed a place to crash.”

A heavyweight falls on Lorelai’s shoulders. “Wow, that’s pretty big.” 

“Yeah,” Lane says, hating the look on Lorelai’s face. “And she didn’t tell me if I could say anything to you, so I just assumed I shouldn’t.” 

“Right,” Lorelai waves it off. “I get it, I heard nothing.” When had she and Rory gotten here? To the place where people weren’t sure if Lorelai should know something big about Rory’s life? “So,” she continues before the uncomfortable wave of emotion drowns her, “it’s nice of you to let her crash.” 

“Hey, she’s small,” Lane shrugs, feeling more comfortable. “How much room can she take up, right?”

“Did she bring her books?” 

Lane thinks of the boxes sitting at the edge of her bed. “Good point… Are you okay?” 

“Me? Sure. I’m fine.” Lorelai assures. “A little curious, but I’m fine.” 

“Well, when I know more,” Lane offers. 

“Right,” Lorelai says. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

Lane walks away from the awkwardness of the situation, leaving Lorelai to sit in her curiosity. 

When Lane gets home she sees Rory at the kitchen counter, a familiar look of concentration on her face and smiles. “Hey.” 

Rory starts for a moment, not expecting the interruption. She notes the next number she needs to call and looks up. “Hey. How was work?” 

Lane deflects, “have you eaten?” 

Rory tilts her head slightly, “no, I guess not-” 

“I’ll make grilled cheese,” Lane says, moving passed her quickly. 

“I can-” 

“No, don’t get up, I’ll do it,” Lane says, back to Rory. 

She shakes her head, chuckling a bit before going back to her resumes, fine-tuning the one for the Stamford Gazette. They’re not hiring, but maybe if she can talk to-

“Lunch is served,” Lane says, setting a grilled cheese on a napkin next to her. 

“Such service.” Rory marvels. 

Lane crosses her arms. “I’m just in it for the tips.” 

“Underwear first, then pants.” Rory quips. 

Lane waves the spatula. “What a shame I’m away from my snare drum.” She looks at Rory, “you want a soda?” 

Rory nods, “please, soda me.” She finishes typing as Zach walks out, ranting about shampoo. She barely manages not to roll her eyes. 

Rory continues typing, hearing Lane telling Zach to relax as he makes subtle snide remarks about Rory’s presence. “I’m not staying that long, Zach.” 

“Hey, Lane’s _casa es su casa,_ apparently.” He grumbles, picking up cereal. “Cool, don’t have to strain myself by lifting a _full_ box, excellent.” 

Rory sighs, aggravated. “I’m not staying that long, Zach!” 

“She’s not staying that long, Zach.” Lane insists without looking at him. 

“A couple of days, tops,” Rory assures. 

Zach rants about some guy named Don when Rory’s phone starts ringing, she stands, grateful for the interruption from the live-action landlord and tenant act. “Hello?” She answers. 

“Rory Gilmore please.” The man says. 

“This is Rory Gilmore,” she confirms. 

“Rory, this is Stuart Woltz of the Stamford Eagle Gazette.” 

Rory smiles, relief sagging her shoulders. “Mr Woltz, yes. Um, thank you so much, for calling me back.” 

“No problem. Listen, I got your message, and of course, I’ll be happy to give you a reference. I’ll even make it a great one.” His tone is confident, causing hope to bloom in her chest. 

“Really?” She asks. 

He sighs evenly. “Look, I don’t really know what happened with you and Mitchum, but from me to you, you’re a sharp kid, and you got a lot going for you. Anybody would be lucky to have you working for them.” 

“Thank you, so much,” Rory says, straining to keep her voice from becoming too emotional. 

“I know this’ll shock you, but you’re not the first person who couldn’t get along with Herr Huntzburger,” he assures. “It’s a pretty big club actually, ignore him.” 

Her confidence more restored than it had been in months Rory smiles, “I plan on doing just that.” 

“Good,” Mr Woltz says. “Okay, so just, uh, have whoever you want call me and I’ll sing your praises. Sorry, I can’t hire you at the Gazette, but we don’t have any openings right now anyhow, so.”

“That’s okay,” Rory smiles. “The reference will be plenty.” 

“Good luck Rory,” he says. “I expect to hear great things about you someday.” 

“I promise not to let you down.” Rory swears, “goodbye, Mr Woltz.” 

She closes the phone confidently, “yes!”

“Good news?” Lane asks as Rory moves back to her computer.

“References are now officially in order, which is a relief because I’ve already sent out 125, 000 resumes,” Rory says, victory painting her tone. 

Lane sits at the counter, grilled cheese in hand, “Oh, listen, I forgot to tell you. I may have done something stupid.” _And attempted to make up for it with grilled cheese._

“What?” Rory asks. 

“Well,” Lane hesitates, “I kind of told Lorelai that you moved in here.” 

“I’m sorry,” Zach interrupts, “ _moved in here?_ ” 

“Zach!” Lane says, “there must be something else you can do.” 

“When did you see my mom?” Rory asks, ignoring Zach. 

“This morning at Luke’s. I’m sorry,” Lane implores.“I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know if you wanted her to know, or didn’t want her to know.” 

Rory shakes her head, smiling. “It’s okay, it’s fine that she knows.” 

“Oh, good.” She signals Zach subtly, urging him to leave. 

“What?” He grumbles through a mouthful of cereal. 

Lane sighs, “go away. I need to talk to Rory.” 

“Oh, now she can kick me out too?” He says, making his way out of the kitchen. 

“I’m not kicking you out, Zach!” Rory promises. 

“She’s _not_ kicking you out, Zach, _I’m_ kicking you out!” Lane says, fixing him with a glare. 

Zach protests before ultimately heading out, giving the two friends some privacy. Rory turns to Lane, “why are you kicking him out?”

Lane shakes her head a bit, much has changed about her life-long friend but how wide her blue eyes got when faced with confusion and potential emotional confrontation never did. “I thought, maybe, we could talk.” 

Rory looks down, fiddling with her hands. “Talk about what?”

Lane smiles, “Rory, you gave me a place to crash without question when you were sharing a dorm with Paris without question, and I will _always_ do the same for you, but when are you gonna tell me what happened?” 

Rory sighed, pulling a piece off her grilled cheese, chewing hesitantly. “Jess showed up.” 

Lane stopped mid-chew. “Jess?”

“Jess.” 

“Which Jess?” Lane asked. 

Rory looked at her, eyebrows raised. “You know which Jess.” 

“Your Jess?” Lane asks disbelief colouring her tone. 

“Unless you know another one-” Rory pauses. “He’s not _my_ Jess.” 

“History suggests otherwise, my friend,” Lane says, leaning back as she eats. “How did he even know where you were?” 

“Luke.” 

“Wow.”

Rory shakes her head. “He wrote a book.” 

“Shut up, really?” Lane asks, fully absorbed in the story. 

“Yes, _really._ ” Rory glares. “He wrote a book and he came to tell me about it the other night.” 

Lane lifts another piece of grilled cheese to her mouth. “Wow, I gotta tell you, that guy has the most cinematic timing.” 

“An achievement I’m sure he’s proud of,” Rory responds. “Anyway, he showed up, we talked, he showed me the book-- _The Subsect_ \--and we decided to get dinner the next night.” 

“And did you?” Lane asks.

Rory shrugs, “sort of, Logan showed up before we got the chance to even pick a restaurant.” 

“Well sure,” Lane nods. “Man, Jess really has this way of interrupting your relationships.” 

“He didn’t interrupt anything,” Rory glares. “We didn’t break up because of Jess.” 

Lane gapes, “you broke up?” 

A sigh escapes Rory as she looks down, “yeah, we broke up.” 

“Are you-” 

“I’m weirdly okay,” Rory says. “I might feel differently once everything settles but right now, I’m alright.” 

“I’m sorry,” Lane comforts anyway. 

Rory shrugs, “I think it might’ve been inevitable. Logan was… exactly what I needed, I think when we met, but I don’t need the same things anymore.” 

“Very grown-up,” Lane nods. 

“Well, dropping out of college does that to a girl,” Rory says ruefully. 

“Okay, so Logan showed up.” Lane urges Rory to continue. 

“Logan showed up and it was a standoff, right away.” Rory says, “he was acting so weird, I’ve never seen him like that before.” 

“Like what? Jealous?” Lanes asks. 

Rory shakes her head, “no he’s been jealous before this was more like, more like the side of being raised with the whole silver spoon thing that I had never seen from him before. I mean, he was always privileged but he’s never tried to show it off like he did that night.” 

“Who’s idea was it for all of you to get dinner?” 

“Logans,” Rory says. “But Jess agreed.” 

“Well, when testosterone is involved,” Lane nods. “So when did Jess hit him?” 

Rory laughed, “he actually didn’t. Logan was picking at him all night and he didn’t lash out once, he walked out after a while of Logan acting like a jerk.” 

“He just walked out?” Disbelief colours Lanes tone. 

“I can’t blame him,” Rory shrugs. “It was horrible. I followed him out of the restaurant and then he-” 

Lane finishes her grilled cheese. “He what?” 

Rory stares at the counter, biting her lip. “He started talking about how Logan was a jerk, which I expected but then,” she looks up, pursing her lips. “I kept trying to defend Logan and he just kept coming at me, asking me what I was doing, what was going on with me, saying that this whole thing wasn’t me-” 

“Oh my God,” Lane gasps. “What did you say?” 

Rory looks down again, “I couldn’t say anything. I just kept saying ‘I don’t know’ over and over again because he was right, God, what _have_ I been doing?” 

“Hey, you were due a mistake,” Lane comforts. 

“I’ve made plenty of mistakes,” Rory says, an edge of bitterness to her voice. 

Lane rests a hand on Rory’s forearm. “You didn’t make any mistakes for the first 17 years of your life Rory, it makes sense that your mistakes now are bigger than some people’s. You’ve gotta catch up to the rest of us somehow.” 

Rory smiles, resting her hand on top of Lanes’. “So then Jess left, wished me a Happy Birthday and drove away. I was just left there, thinking, and I was so mad,” she shakes her head in thought. “I was mad because I was happier to see Jess than I thought I’d’ve been given-” 

“Everything,” Lane nods. 

“Yeah,” Rory confirms, moving her hand from Lanes and resting her chin on it. “I went back in and Logan and I got into a horrible fight, we were screaming at each other, he was jealous, said I was blaming him for Yale, which maybe I was, a little bit. It was easier to defend Logan to everyone than it was to face what I was doing. I knew I couldn’t fix any of it with him around, so we broke up.” 

“Wow.” 

“Yeah.” 

“How do you feel?” 

Rory thinks for a moment. “Clearer. Maybe not better, I wish Jess and I had gotten to catch up and when it comes down to it, I did love Logan. But for the first time in months I just, I feel like I can see again.” 

“Have you talked to Jess?” Lane asks. 

“I don’t have any way to contact him.” _Although, I do know where he is._

“You could get his number from Luke, or his address and just show up, take a page out of his playbook.” Lane smiles. 

“I can’t,” Rory shakes her head. 

“Why not?” Lane asks, “I’m sure he wants to know what you think of his book.” 

“I haven’t read it yet.” Rory winces. 

Lane startles, “ _you?_ Why?” 

“I can’t,” Rory murmurs, “I can’t talk to Jess until I read it, and I can’t read it until everything is fixed. It’s the same with my mom, I need,” she pauses, “I need everything to be fixed, before I take that step.”

Lane leans forward, “you know, Lorelai would help you Rory.” 

“I know,” Rory says. “That’s why I need to do this myself.” 

Lane nods, “okay, so what’s next in plan: fix it?” 

“Well, I’ve gotta get dressed and hit the concrete, I’m getting a job at the Gazette,” Rory says, determination lifting her tone. 

“Well, what’re you waiting for? Get up and dressed, working girl.” Lane smiles, watching her best friend go. 

She relaxes in her chair, crumpling up the paper towel in front of her. She presses her hand to her chin and scoffs in amusement. “Jess. Huh.” 

  
  


Across town at Luke’s, in the recovery of Luke and Lorelai’s most recent fight, Luke is serving the dinner crowd, taking orders when a 12-year-old girl in an obnoxiously large bike helmet walks in. 

“Luke Danes?” She asks. He ignores her, continuing to walk in his rush, she follows. “Excuse me, are you Luke Danes?” 

“Yeah,” he says gruffly. “Grab a seat, I’ll be with you in a moment.” 

She sits next to a woman who Luke hands an iced tea before he turns to the young girl, prepared to take her order. “You’re Luke Danes?” 

Impatience bubbles in his chest. “Yes, kid, I’m Luke Danes.” He looks up at her, “what the hell are you wearing?” 

“A bike helmet.” 

“For what kind of bike?” He asks. 

“A Schwinn,” she says, as though it’s obvious. 

“Okay,” Luke concedes.

“When you fall off your bike, you fall on your face.” She justifies. 

“Fine.” 

“You could lose your teeth or hurt your neck,” she continues. 

“Whatever,” Luke sighs, “what do you want to eat?” 

“Nothing.” 

What is this kid's deal? “Then I need the stool space.” 

Confusion flickers across her face. “But you told me to sit here.” 

“Well, I thought you were gonna order something.” 

He retreats to yell at the cook in the back about burger’s and onions, rushing to get everyone their orders. She follows his every move and stops dead in front of him again, a smile on her face. Luke sighs, “look kid, whatever you’re selling-” 

“I’m not selling anything.” 

_A likely story._ “I know, but I’m working. I’m busy- will you take that thing off?” 

“Okay?” She says, moving to unbuckle the first latch. “It takes a minute,” she says in response to his impatient expression. 

Luke puts his hands in his pockets as he waits. “Okay,” she sets the helmet on the counter. “It’s off. Can I talk to you now?” 

“Talk fast.” Luke gestures, his patience nearing the hilt. 

“I need your hair.” 

“Excuse me?” 

She nods. “With the root.” 

“For what?” Luke asks. Where was this kids’ parents? 

Her words come out slow, calm. “I go to Martin Van Buren middle school, over in Woodbridge, do you know it?”

Luke stares at her. “No.” 

“Well, every year Samuel Polotsky wins the science fair.” Indignation colours her otherwise rational tone. “Now, it’s very important that I beat him this year because I hate him. This year I have the perfect project,” Luke looks up, waiting for the story to be over. “I’m gonna take hair samples from three men, run DNA tests on them and figure out which one’s my father.”

Luke nods before pausing, “what?” 

“My uncle runs a lab in Hartford so he’s going to oversee me. But I’ll be doing all the actual work myself!” Her excitement would have been endearing had it come at any other time. 

“I’m sorry, did you say, _your_ father?” Luke asks. 

She nods, her expression akin to a parent explaining something to a small child. “Yeah, see, science fairs have gotten so political lately. It’s no longer the simple act of science being appreciated. There’s gotta be a twist, a gimmick, something flashy.” She’s eager again. “I figure this is perfect, real science, DNA testing, with a flash of human drama. ‘Who’s my Daddy?’ Catchy, right?”

Luke remains lost in the first few sentences. “I don’t understand. I’m not-” 

“I already have the other two samples. This is my last stop, I go to the lab from here, and the fair’s on the 16th. And if I win, there’s gonna be a banquet on the 18th, and you get to choose any two types of spaghetti you want. There’s gonna be at least ten options, though I know what I’m getting, split order, half mushroom, half muenster cheese.” 

“No,” Luke says, determined, this wasn’t happening. 

“Yes, that’s what I’m getting.” She says. 

“No, I mean no-” 

She reaches up and pulls a hair quickly from his head. “Ow!”

She places it in her bag then snaps a quick photo of him. “Thanks,” she grabs her things and rushes out of the diner. “Wish me luck!” 

She leaves Luke stunned in her wake before he sighs and yells to Caesar, “I’m going out!” 

“But-” Caesar calls. 

“Out!” He rushes out the door, the bell ringing behind him. 

He rushes to the Inn where Lorelai and Michel are arguing over something. Taking a deep breath he walks up to Lorelai, “I need to talk to you.” 

“Oh, hey hon, just a sec-” 

“No,” he shakes his head. “Now.” 

“Um, oh-okay,” she looks at Michel, “Try to remember ok? I’ll just be a minute.” 

“Oh, goody,” Michel says before walking away. 

“Okay,” Lorelai turns to Luke, confused. “Outside?” 

“Yeah,” Luke nods, before following her out to the stables. 

  
  


At the Gazette, Rory sits patiently in the lobby, reading a paper and ready to jump at the first moment that Mr. Woltz, her new boss as far as she’s concerned, has a second to talk to her. Harry and Mr Woltz come walking around the corner, prompting Rory to listen carefully, catching herself up in the conversation as she walks. 

“-rumage through some trash cans-” 

“Very dignified,” Mr Woltz says. 

“Or maybe, we can just call the guy up, tell him we know he’s sending the letters. Lie, see if we can smoke him out.” Harry continues to reason. 

“You know, you can use language-analysis software to I.D an author by comparing his writing style to known writing samples,” Rory says, prompting the two men to stop. 

“What?” Mr Woltz says. 

“Yeah,” Rory confirms eagerly. “That’s how Joe Klein was unmasked as the author of _Primary Colors._ ” 

“Hell, it’s worth a try,” Woltz says. 

“Great,” Harry says and runs off to begin working on it. 

“Good idea Rory,” Woltz concedes. 

“Thanks, Boss,” she smiles. 

“I’m not your boss.” 

“Not yet, Boss, but give me five minutes of your time-” 

Frustration leaks into Woltz’s voice. “I don’t have five minutes.” 

“Okay, I can wait.” She says with a smile. 

“Oh boy.” He says as he walks away. 

“You know where to find me!” 

  
  


In Stars Hollow, Lorelai leans against the stables for support, unable to process what Luke has told her. “Wow.” 

“I know.  


“I mean, wow.” 

“Yeah.” 

She can’t read Luke’s expression, nervous as to what she may find. “You might,” she can’t believe the words, “have a daughter.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“How old?” Lorelai asks. 

“What’s that matter?” He responds, confused. 

Lorelai shrugs, “Just wondering, is she a kid, is she a teenager, has she declared bankruptcy and is now looking for financial compensation?” 

The joke rolls off Luke’s back, “she looked about 12.” 

“Wow.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So,” Lorelai hesitantly puts a hand on his shoulder, “what do you want to do?” 

He rests his chin on her knuckles softly, finally really looking at her. “I don’t know.” 

Lorelai shakes her head fondly, “I don’t think that’s true.” 

Luke sighs heavily, closing his eyes. “I think I want to know.” 

“Okay,” Lorelai nods. “Then you’ll find out, I can come with you to the fair if you want?”

Luke looks away, but nods. “Yeah, I, um, I think that would be good.” 

“You said the sixteenth?” She asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, then we’ll go. Michel will be fine watching the Inn for a day.” 

His shoulders sag as he sighs, his entire body looking tired, Lorelai’s heart aches as she wishes she could do more to help. “What are we gonna do if-” he stops, unable to say it. 

She leans over and kisses his cheek, “we’ll figure it out, together.” 

He takes a deep breath and looks at her, “okay. Thanks, for uh-”

Lorelai smiles, “all a part of the package baby. This is the Lorelai Gilmore experience.” The joking leaves her voice, “thank you for telling me.” 

He nods, pulling her in, he holds her tightly before kissing her. Yes, everything would be fine. 

  
  
  


Rory returns to Stars Hollow only after the paper closes and all the staff have gone home, she knows when enough is enough, a skill she highlights to Woltz before she leaves, with the promise of returning tomorrow. He rolls his eyes but she sees just enough amusement there to be confident enough to come back tomorrow and as many days that it took after that. She ignores Zach’s snide remarks and gratefully harnesses Lane’s prideful smiles and sleeps almost completely soundly that night.

She wakes up early and heads straight for the Gazette, aiming to be there before it opens. She is there, waiting with coffee when Woltz and Harry show up. Harry thanks her with a gracious smile while Woltz grumbles under his breath as he opens the door. But he takes the coffee, and that’s why she’s encouraged enough to break into his office an hour into the day. As she places her the most impressive part of her portfolio on his desk, she makes a mental note to thank Jess for picking Luke’s back door so often while she was around, subsequently teaching her the hoodlum-esque skill. 

  
  


In Stars Hollow, Lorelai is woken up to the sound of her phone ringing. “Agh!” She mutters, throwing a pillow before grabbing the phone. “Hello?” 

“Lorelai! Your mother’s missing,” his tone is urgent. 

“What?” She rubs her eyes, beginning to sit up.

“I came home from Seattle and she wasn’t here. The bed doesn’t look like it’s been slept in.” Richard says, tense from head to tone. 

They exchange quips before Richard says, “Rory’s moved out. Did you know this?” 

“Yes, I heard, what happened?” Lorelai asked, ready to finally get some answers. 

“I don’t know what happened! I come home to two strange boys moving her things out of my house and then I find a note on the mantel from Rory,” Richard says, aggravating leaking from every word. 

“Well, that did the note say, Dad?” Lorelai asks. 

“Oh, this and that, she thanked us for letting her stay here and said she had to leave.”

“And?” 

“And that’s it! Nothing to tell us where she’s going-” 

“Well she’s in Stars Hollow, she’s staying with her friend Lane,” Lorelai says. 

“You’ve spoken to her?” Richard asks. 

“No, Lane told me.” Lorelai shakes her head, rubbing her eyes. “The note didn’t say anything else?” 

“No, nothing! Just that she loved us and she was leaving.”

“Well-” 

“She should’ve talked to us, Lorelai,” Richard says firmly. 

“Yes, she should have,” Lorelai agrees. “But she’s Rory Dad if she left it means she must have already had a plan in motion. Look, you just relax, I will look for Mom, okay?” 

“Okay,” Richard concedes. “Call me the second you find her.” 

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Lorelai says. 

“Don’t be smart!” 

“I’m not being smart! If I hear anything I’ll call.” Lorelai says before Richard hangs up. 

She leaves her Mom a message before getting dressed and going to look for Rory at Lane’s house, only to find that she isn’t there. Her frustration grows and she sighs before heading over to the diner. 

“Hey,” Luke smiles when he sees her, though he’s tense around the eyes, nervous. “Coffee?” 

“Yes, please.” She huffs, sitting in front of him. 

“You look tired.” 

“Gee, thanks.” Lorelai quips.

“I just mean,” Luke sighs and looks at her. “What’s wrong?” 

“My Dad woke me up, apparently my Mom’s missing,” she sighs. 

Luke stops what he’s doing. “What?” 

“Rory moved out, she’s staying with Lane, no one seems to know what happened except for Rory and I can’t get ahold of her because I decided to give her, her space and not get her new phone number.” She grunts in frustration, “I should have my head examined.” 

“Rory moved out?” Luke asks. 

“Yes, and no one seems to know why.” 

“Well, why don’t you just go over there and ask Rory?” Luke asks. 

“That’s where I just came from,” Lorelai says, too exhausted to quip back. “And of course, _of course,_ she isn’t there. I’ll just have to focus on finding Mom and-” Lorelai gasps, her hand flying over Luke’s. “And you have that thing today, we’re supposed to go-”

Luke waves a hand. “I’ll go alone.” 

Lorelai falters. “Luke-” 

“No, it’s fine.” He shrugs, “might even be good, this might be something I have to find out on my own and then, well, then we can deal with it.”

“Are you sure?” Lorelai asks. 

“I’m sure. Go deal with your family and I’ll handle my- potential family.” He hesitates on the word family. 

Lorelai smiles, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss. “Thank you, I love you,” another kiss, “okay, bye.” 

“Bye,” Luke says with a small smile. 

As Lorelai walks out of the diner, she hears her phone ring. “Hello?” 

“Lorelai.” 

“Mom, thank God, where are you? Have you called Dad?” 

“I don’t have to tell your father everywhere I go. Especially not when I’m shopping, he never cares what I buy anyhow. Might as well look at some planes.” Emily says indignantly. 

“ _Where_ are you?” Lorelai questions, stunned. 

Emily gives her the address and she walks home to grab her car and talk her mother off whatever ledge she’s dangling from this time. 

“Mom,” Lorelai calls as she walks into a private plane. 

“I’m in the cockpit,” Emily calls. 

Lorelai sighs, “add that to the list of things I never thought I’d hear my mother say.” 

Emily walks out, “Hello Lorelai, what are you doing here?” She wanders the plane, eyeing the curtains and furniture. 

“Oh, I was just in the neighbourhood,” Lorelai quips. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m looking at a plane,” she says, stating the obvious. 

“Okay…” Lorelai says, “but why.” 

Emily sighs as if Lorelai is the one being unreasonable. “Because you don’t do something like buy a plane without looking at it first, I’m not Elvis.”

“Ah, my mistake. I thought you were. I apologize for sending you all those policeman badges for Christmas.” Emily doesn’t respond. “Mom, Dad is pretty worried about you.”

“He is?” 

“Yes, he says you didn’t come home last night.” 

“I didn’t?” 

Lorelai sighs, “well he said the bed looked like it hadn’t been slept in and you’re between maids so-” 

Finally, Emily turns. “Oh for Heaven’s sake, I did that. People don’t even think I can make a bed, I can _make a bed._ I usually wind up remaking the bed after the maid makes it because she made it wrong in the first place.” She looks around, “I wonder if these seats could be moved around.” 

Lorelai scoffs. “Mom.” 

“Yes?” 

“You’re not gonna buy a plane.” 

Emily looks at her, irritated. “Tell your father I’m fine and I’ll be home in an hour.” 

“Mom.” 

“If you’re not going to leave, then help.” She hands Lorelai a tape measure and begins discussing the logistics of time-sharing the plane after one too many quips on Lorelai’s part Emily snaps. 

“You know what? I am tired of this, I am tired of your attitude toward me. You look at me as a thing of amusement.” 

Lorelai gapes. “I don’t!”

Emily doesn’t stop, “something to be pitied or feel sorry for. ‘Poor, out of touch Emily, she has nothing. She lives to organize parties and frivolous affairs, who would want to do that? To be that?” 

“Mom,” Lorelai says, “I’ve never thought that.” 

“If I want a plane, I’ll _buy_ a plane!” Emily insists, holding onto her anger

“Okay, good!” Lorelai encourages, “go for it.” She throws her hands up in defeat. 

“It’s my fault that Rory dropped out of Yale, it’s my fault that she didn’t go back. It’s my fault that she’s with Logan, it’s my fault that she’s not happy,” Emily’s voice falters before breaking. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault.” 

Lorelai nods, understanding. “It’s not your fault. Rory makes-” 

“That’s right! It’s _not_ my fault!” Emily turns anger fresh again. “I did nothing but take care of her. I bought her clothes, I got her a job, I guided her. I threw parties for her and introduced her to new people, new things, and she just…” she falters once again. “The way she talked to me, you would have been _very_ proud.” 

“No,” Lorelai denies softly. 

“Oh yes,” Emily confirms. “She looked at me just like you used to, with that defiant, ‘who are you to be telling me what to do?’ sort of look.” She looked down briefly, toying with the fabric in her hand. “Then she left, packed her things and moved out when I wasn’t even there to see her go. Left some three-lined note, with a thank you and goodbye. You would have been very, very, proud.” 

Lorelai sighs sadly. “Mom-” 

“Just let me buy my plane Lorelai,” tears mar Emily’s voice. “Let me be frivolous and shallow won’t you please.” 

Lorelai nods, “okay.” She begins to leave the plane before turning back. “It’s not the same, Mom. What happened with Rory. It’s not the same.” 

“I lost her, like I lost you, feels remarkably similar to me,” Emily says without turning. 

“You didn’t lose her like you lost me,” Lorelai insists. “She was never supposed to be there in the first place, she was always supposed to be at school. She just went back where she belonged.” Lorelai turned slowly, “and you didn’t lose me.” She murmurs as she walks out. 

Lorelai is back in her car when Luke finally calls. “Luke.” 

“Is everything okay?” He asks immediately, a telltale hesitation in his voice.

“Yeah, crisis averted, they’re all a little crazy but I think we’ll be okay,” Lorelai says. 

“Right, well, good,” he pauses, “that’s, that’s good.” Lorelai waits, the silence on the phone deafening. “So, I went to see April.” 

“Right, yes, how was that?” 

“She didn’t win first place, lost to some earth-conscious project.” Luke mumbles. 

“Oh well, that’s a shame,” Lorelai says, waiting once again. “So, April, her name is April?” 

“Huh?” Luke asks before realizing. “Oh! Yeah, yeah April, that’s her name.” 

“Wow, first name basis. That’s a pretty big deal, huh?” Lorelai asks. 

Luke sighs, “yeah, I guess so.” 

“Luke,” Lorelai says. 

“Yeah?” 

“C’mon. You gotta tell me.” Lorelai insists, “is she?” 

There’s a long pause, for a moment Lorelai thinks they lost connection, but he responds voice low. “Yeah, she is.” 

Her stomach knots, “okay, I’ll come right over-” 

“No, don’t,” Luke insists quickly. 

“Luke-” 

“No really, Lorelai I just, I need some time to process this,” Lorelai flinches at the mention of time apart. 

“Time?” She asks, almost tearfully, afraid. 

“Well, no,” Luke corrects, “not time. Just- tonight. I’m gonna stay at the diner tonight, process this, try to figure out what I want to do and I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll talk it out.” 

Lorelai swallows hard, “you promise?” 

“I promise,” Luke confirms. “I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Lorelai says before hanging up and beginning the drive home. 

  
  


At the Gazette Rory is moving a mile a minute, stopping to bring the receptionist some coffee. “Three sugars, non-fat milk.” 

“Thank you, sweetie,” she says, her voice rough, similar to Babette’s but not nearly as shrill. She takes a sip. “God, you make good coffee.” 

Rory smiles. “I’ve had years of training, you’ve got someone on hold.”

“Oh right.” She says and returns to the call. 

“Rory Gilmore,” Woltz walks up, tone firm. 

“Yes, Boss,” Rory turns eagerly. 

“Is this your portfolio?” He asks, holding up the file. 

Rory smiles, “part of it. I’ve got more here if you need it.” She grabs her bag, “clippings and pitches-” 

“You do not go into other people’s offices and leave things on their desks,” Woltz reprimands. 

“I know,” Rory says. “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t but she knew this was a possible consequence.

“I’m the editor of this paper for God’s sake! My office is private,” He says. 

“And very tidy.” Rory adds. 

He shoves her portfolio back at her, “stay out of my office.” 

She takes the portfolio, almost ready to admit defeat as he walks away when he turns. “Five minutes.” 

A grin breaks out on her face. “You read it?” 

“I don’t see you moving,” he says. 

“Did you like it?” Rory asks, turning towards him. 

“I remember something about you being a bargain,” he says before walking away.  
  


She follows him, “oh thank you, Boss, you won’t be sorry Boss.” She hesitates, “wait you’re not going to have to fire Harry are you?” 

  
  


It’s dark by the time she’s secured herself a low paying writing job at the Gazette, but she leaves feeling better than she has in months. Headlights speed past her as she drives down the I-95 back to Stars Hollow, her grin won’t leave her face. She only has one thing left to do tonight. 

  
  


_“What?” She asks Jess, “you don’t think I can do it?”_

_“No,” he shakes his head, eyes on the road. “I do, it just sounds a little too-”_

_“What?” Rory asked._

_“Just sounds a little too rough for you.” He shrugs._

_She glares at him, “well it’s not a little too rough for me.” Hesitation makes her pause, “I hope it’s not a little too rough for me. I've been talking about this forever… I don’t even know what I would do if-”_

_“Hey,” Jess says softly, “I didn’t mean to freak you out, I’m sorry.” She looks away, shaken. “You’ll do it.” She gives him a look. “You will,” he insists. “I promise. Look, I’ll help you. Tomorrow, you’ll stand in the middle of the street and I will drive straight at you screaming in a foreign language.”_

_Rory was laughing before he finished the sentence. “Well you’re gonna have to learn a foreign language first.”_

_He looks at her, “well, it’s a good thing I’ve got me a tutor then isn’t it?”_

_Later, when he asks, she tells him to turn right. And even knowing the outcome, she knows she would do it again._

  
  
  


“Mom!” Rory exclaims when she picks up. 

“Rory!” Lorelai says, bringing her hands to her face. 

“I got a job!” Rory gushes. 

“What? Where?” Lorelai asks. 

“At the Stamford Gazette, it pays less than I’ll spend on gas to get there,” she can’t keep the excitement out of her voice. “But it’s a job! A writing job!” 

“Yes!” Lorelai exclaims, feeling the weight on her shoulders lighten with every word. 

“And I’m going back to Yale! I already called them and talked to my Dean and it’s all arranged. I just have to find someplace to live but who cares? I’ll figure it out.” Rory says excitedly, feeling her anticipation grow as she gets closer to the house. 

Lorelai smiles tearfully, pride blooming in her chest. “And this is what you want?” 

“Yes!” 

“Are you sure?” Lorelai asks again. 

“Yes!” 

“Oh, Rory!” Lorelai exclaims happily. 

“I moved out of Grandma’s house.” 

“Yeah, I know, I heard,” Lorelai says with a smile. 

“Are you home?” Rory asks before thinking about it. 

“Oh, no, I’m not,” Lorelai quips. 

Rory sighs, “okay, I know you’re home but… can I come over?

“Yes! Yes! Come over!” Lorelai says. 

“Cause I’m staying at Lane’s, and I don’t know if you want me to but-” 

Lorelai shakes her head. “Tell Lane you’re moving out and get your butt over here, right now!” 

Rory smiles and turns into the driveway. “Well, okay, if you insist!” 

Lorelai gasps when she sees Rory’s car in the yard. “Oh my God.” 

“What?” Rory asks, confused. 

“You look just so much more silver than I remember.”

Rory rolls her eyes, getting out of the car. “Now, come on, is it too much to expect after a lengthy separation to get some sort of heartfelt greeting?”

The two Gilmore girls throw their phones down and run to each other in the front yard, meeting in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry!” Rory says emphatically, clutching onto her mother. 

“You’re sorry?” Lorelai says, “ _I’m_ sorry.” 

Rory shakes her head, “I was so mixed up.” 

Lorelai sighs, “I should have pulled you out of there.” 

“I was stupid!” Rory says, her tone akin to when she would mess up as a teenager. 

  
  


_“Okay, my God, take a breath,” Lorelai says, more concerned than angry now._

_“I don’t deserve a breath!” Rory insists. “No breaths! That’s going on the list, you should beat me, ground me, take away the phone and deprive me of air!”_

  
  


Lorelai shakes her head, “no, I was stupid!” 

“I was more stupid!” Rory competes. 

“Oh, boy,” Lorelai laughs tearfully. “Time to get you back to Yale.” 

“I love you, Mom,” Rory says, finally feeling completely okay. 

“Oh, kid, you have no idea.” 

  
  
  


Across state lines, in Philadelphia, Chris and Matt look at Jess as though he’s lost his mind for the sixth time that week, as he looks at his phone, thumb hovering over his uncle’s number, itching to check-in. He doesn’t but decides to put Rory’s name on the guestlist for Truncheons’ open house. He’s never been much for fate, but he feels a sense of finality as he writes it down. He ignores Chris and Matt’s looks as he walks past them and into his room.

I hope you guys liked this! I didn't like that Rory never left Richard and Emily even a note so I decided to change it. Please comment, let me know what you guys think and thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. 


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